Padre Pio

The decade that ended two days ago was the worst one of my life. My mom died, nine months later my only brother committed suicide and I got divorced twice, the first divorce resulting in me losing my daughter from my daily life.

For the final two weeks of 2019 I was quite down – detached, depressed and emotionally numb. I made a promise to myself that in 2020 I was going to reset myself, follow my 11 guides to live by and return to being the optimistic person of old.

Part of the plan is to meditate twice a day in 2020, once in the morning to positively set the mind and intentions for the day and once before bed to ease the mind for rest.

I’m reading the book There Are No Accidents: Synchronicity and the Stories of Our Lives. In my morning reading today the book mentions Padre Pio. Intrigued, I jumped on my smartphone to learn more about him.

Part of the article online stated Pio “recommended the performance of meditation and self-examination twice daily: once in the morning, as preparation to face the day, and once again in the evening, as retrospection.”

Validation of my meditation intent. Mind blown.

Second synchronicity

Later this afternoon I had a second, albeit much less significant, synchronicity happen. I was at the kitchen table eating lunch when I realized I had change in my pocket to place back in the Catch All envelope. Not 45 minutes earlier I had taken $2.35 out of the envelope for a soda and to pay a library fine.

The fine ended up being waived and the soda cost me $1.33. So, at lunch I mentally note I had to put the remaining $1.02 into the envelope. As I was having this thought I looked at my phone. It read 1:02 p.m., with today being 1/02.

We shall see if this number bears out any significance.

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Emma Lebban is on the right.

Transcendent Paranormal Society has investigated many locations in the 13 months since we split off to form our own team.

It’s thoroughly satisfying when we can help a client with activity in their home. We have been blessed to do that many times.

It’s exhilarating when we catch a piece of evidence that is then validated, not through what that evidence reveals, but validated by factual information. We’ve had a couple instances of that happening, and the latest was in August at a reveal of our July 27 investigation of the 52 Building in Lancaster, Wis.

As part of a reveal, we talk about personal experiences that weren’t caught by evidence. One of the staff members who worked in the 52 Building talked about how during part of her group’s investigation, they were in the old kitchen. Kelly, a guest investigator who is also a medium, picked up on a spirit named Emma who was running things in the kitchen and thought the group members were getting in the way.

One of the women in the audience at the reveal was Jeni Oyen. She came because she was intrigued by what we would find at the building. After the staff member shared her personal experience, Jeni spoke up. She knew an Emma who worked at the 52 Building.

“My great grandma Emma Lebban is from Beetown and worked in the kitchen of the county home, I believe her entire adult life until retirement. My grandma was a wonderful, kind soul but she was very matter of fact about things.

When I heard someone mention that they had asked if Emma wanted them to leave and she replied with ‘We’re cooking here’ that would for sure be something she would say, and I can hear her voice saying it in my head.

Grandma was a very hard worker and enjoyed for the most part working in the kitchen. She actually handed that trait down to my grandma (her daughter) because my grandmother was a cook for the Lancaster schools her entire adult life until retirement.

I’m sure Grandma Lebban wanted the investigators to come help her in the kitchen but probably soon realized they were more in her way, then got irritated.”

Investigators had no knowledge of Emma beforehand. Jeni’s information validated this piece of evidence for us. Truly amazing. We love it when stories like this come out and back up the evidence. It’s motivation to keep doing what we’re doing.

Everyone has a story

Posted: November 16, 2019 in General musings
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While my flight from Charlotte to Cedar Rapids on Wednesday night was delayed almost 5 hours, that’s the only thing that was bad about my trip to Florida for a work conference.

It was an amazing four days, highlighted by great networking and the making of a few new friends. But one of the things that stood out the most to me were the stories of a couple people I sat next to on the plane flights.

One person was Bob Jury, an Iowa filmmaker en route to Ft. Lauderdale to a film festival to share his film, Working Man. When he found out I was from Dubuque, he said he had shown his film at the film festival in Dubuque. Later in the flight when I said the name of his movie, the exact paragraph he was reading as I said the name of his movie had the word workingmen in it. He told me this and I saw it on the page. It was then that I shared the book I was reading, There Are No Accidents, a book about synchronicity.

On the way from Florida to Charlotte, I sat by a woman who was heading home to Traverse City, Michigan, after finishing her 77th cruise. While she was gone, her best friend died. They used to travel the world together. She was worried she had missed her funeral. Turns out, she was returning home just in time to attend. I told her that now her friend can travel anywhere in the world unencumbered.

I love meeting random people and hearing their stories. Everyone has one. We just have to stop and listen long enough to hear them.

Biz card

The last time I wrote a column here, I was out of a job, blindsided by a budget decision and scurrying to apply for jobs at a clip of three per day.

I viewed my lack of gainful employment, through no fault of my own, as a challenge, yes, but not one I was going to despair about. I tackled it as an opportunity to find something greater, something more meaningful and fulfilling.

I’m sorry it took me so long to provide an update, but I’m happy to report, I indeed found something greater, more meaningful and fulfilling. On Jan. 21, I became the digital content director for WATT Global Media, a business-to-business media company based out of Rockford, Ill., that serves the poultry, egg, animal feed and pet food industries.

WATT is a ROWE workplace. ROWE stands for results only work environment. I am evaluated based on the results I achieve, the goals I meet, rather than face time in front of the computer. Best of all, I get to work wherever and whenever I want, as long as the work gets done. If I want to go to a movie at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday, I can. If I want to fly to Las Vegas for an extended weekend, I can. As long as I meet my goals, I have complete freedom to structure my life the way I choose.

You may think that working from home, it would be easy to slack off. You can’t do that in a ROWE. No results equals no employment. But it’s amazing to be treated like an adult. Do I work more than 40 hours a week? Yes, nearly every week, but not because I feel the stress and pressure that I have to, but because I so enjoy what I do and the people I work with that I want to put in the extra work. But that said, in the 9 months I have worked for WATT, there’s only been two occasions where I have felt overwhelmed. And through talking with colleagues, and working to obtain results, those feelings quickly dissipated.

Was getting let go from my job frightening? Yes, of course, but in retrospect, I’m so glad it happened. WATT Global Media is an amazing company to work for, and I couldn’t be happier. I am challenged to do my best work every day, I feel as if my opinion matters and we’re all one big team working for the same end goals. And my life is so much better for it.

Onward and upward.

Setback. It’s just a word, but one that, depending on how you react to it, can be devastating, damaging and demeaning.

A setback is defined as a reversal or check in progress. It’s often life’s way of knocking you on your ass and seeing if you get up from it.

I prefer a different word – opportunity. When bad things happen in our lives they often catch us off guard, disorient us for a while, make us take stock of life. But I don’t label these as setbacks. I label them opportunities – a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something.

On Nov. 30, due to budget cuts, I lost my job as Communication coordinator at The Galena Territory Association (GTA). I was there for four years, my first professional foray out of journalism in order to have better hours to be with what at the time was a new family.

I was completely blindsided by the move, and in a way, I’m still in shock. The GTA was a great company to work for, and my supervisors were caring people who were there for me when my mom and brother died in the span of nine months and when I went through my recent divorce. I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive work environment.

Is it a setback to not have a job? Yes, of course. Thoughts creep in about not being able to provide for my daughter, having to sell my home, not being able to pay for bills. But every day since my unexpected job loss, I’ve viewed it as an opportunity, to find a new place to work where I can put my skills to good use, a chance to connect with a job that truly makes me happy and allows me to contribute to a greater cause.

I have been applying for jobs at a rapid clip and have taken the unexpected free time to reconnect to some hobbies and activities I enjoy. It’s an opportunity to reset my life, and I’m going to take advantage of it.

In the past three years, I have had other opportunities to reassess, and they have all proved positive. Setbacks are opportunities.

In September 2015 after my mom died, I reflected on my life and appreciate more than ever where I came from and how I became the man I am today.

In June 2016 when my brother committed suicide, I determined what I was and wasn’t willing to put up with in my own life, and to eliminate or contain the stressors that were strains on my happiness.

In April 2018 when my second marriage was obviously nearing its end, I created my guide for living, 11 rules that I try to follow every day.

In August 2018 after the divorce was final, a woman I had never met messaged me, we believe via divine intervention. She’s been an amazing part of my life since and has taught me so much about myself.

Does losing my job suck? Yes. But do I now have an opportunity to further make my life the way I want it? Yes, and I intend to fully take advantage of it.

Onward and upward.

Seconds are letters; minutes, words; hours, sentences; days, paragraphs; weeks, pages; years, chapters.

After almost four years of marriage, I am starting a new chapter, in a new book called bachelorhood.

My marriage ended on Aug. 7. When I got married for the second time, I never expected it to end. I certainly didn’t plan to be going back to being a bachelor after only four years. In a way, these past four years have been the most difficult chapter of my life, and not solely because my second marriage didn’t last.

The day after returning from my honeymoon, I fell 8.5 feet off my roof onto concrete, breaking an arm and five bones in my back. I didn’t see the electrical cord had caught on the ladder and detached the safety mechanism. While painful, I recovered in time, but every once in a while, my body shares with me a nagging reminder of my folly. Four years later, I’ve learned to pay more attention to detail.

In 1998, my mom had an aortic tear near her heart. The condition could have been fatal, but miraculously, it healed on its own, and my mom lived on. In September 2015, that same condition came back, and my mom had to have emergency surgery to fix it. Without the surgery, she knew she would die. We and she knew that the surgery was also a risk. That didn’t prepare us, however, for the chaplain shepherding us into a private room, or for the doctor coming in more than an hour later to share with us the news… while the surgery was successful, doctors weren’t able to get my mom’s heart to beat on its own, or her lungs to work independent of machines. She didn’t make it out of surgery. I was the last family member to speak with her, the night before she died. I will remember that phone conversation for the rest of my life. I said goodbye to my mom, not knowing it was for the last time. Three years later, I’ve learned to not take family and friends for granted. Ever.

In June 2016, my only brother, no longer able to battle his demons, committed suicide less than a week from his 40th birthday. He lived 15 hours away and no one knew he was contemplating his ultimate demise. He was a strong man who would do anything for anyone. Two years later, I’ve learned to be tuned in to friends, and be there to help them when in need. Because when you’re in that predicament, you want them to be there for you.

And then there’s my marriage. Yes, it’s over, but my ex wife and I had some amazing times. A few days removed from the divorce being final, I realize that I need to live life in the moment, and do what makes me happy first. I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others.

I have a guide to live by, consisting of 11 rules created after hours of contemplation. And over this four-year chapter of my life, I’ve come away with life lessons that will fit in well with where I am going, wherever that may physically, mentally and emotionally be.

One place I will never be again, up on the roof. When I fall in this thing we call life, and I will, I want to be able to get back up and move on, mostly intact and having learned another lesson to carry with me along the way.

On to the next chapter.

I have always been a reflective person, but in the past couple months, circumstances have caused me to focus and meditate on my life philosophy.

I’ve always had mantras, rules, guidelines to go by in my life, but they were scattered throughout my brain like the seeds of a dandelion carrying on the wind.

The focused meditation has now brought all of those mantras, rules and guidelines together, and I present them here, as a way to announce that I’m going to abide by them, as a way to organize my thoughts, as a guide going forward.

  1. I will no longer deal with negative or stress- or drama-inducing people. If you’re not positive, step aside. 
  2. I will no longer waste my time on people who refuse to invest time to foster positive relationships with me or any of the positive people in my life. 
  3. I do not care what people think of me. If you don’t like me for me, can’t accept me for me, I don’t need you in my life. 
  4. I will focus on people, places and things that make me happy. I will sever ties with people, places and things that do not. 
  5. I will do everything in my power to help the positive people in my life. 
  6. I will live life with no regrets, and seize opportunities to become a better person. 
  7. I will always value positive relationships and experiences more than material things. 
  8. I will always respect and accept others until they give me a reason not to (see 1, 2, 3). 
  9. I will not judge people on their past, only from when I meet them going forward. 
  10. Enjoy your past but never at the expense of your future. 
  11. I will strive to be the best version of me I can be.

It feels good to have structure in this part of my life. It gives me peace to know all my mantras, rules and guidelines are collected in one place. Onward and upward.

A mixed bag

Posted: January 1, 2018 in Family and friends, General musings
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Today is the first day of 2018. It’s a good day to reflect on the year that was, and the year that is ahead.

I’ll remember 2017 as a mixed bag. I had some wonderful experiences, like playing a doubleheader at the Field of Dreams, taking my daughter Kalena to the Pentatonix concert at the Iowa State Fair and taking Kalena on vacation to Washington, D.C., a place she had never been but wanted to go to, and a place I had been to but longed to return to.

I embraced a new passion. I went from being a curious journalist at a paranormal investigation to the lead investigator for the Dubuque chapter of Odyssey Paranormal Society (OPS), based out of the Twin Cities. It’s been an amazing opportunity to put my journalism, critical thinking and deductive logic skills to work, and I can’t thank OPS director Michael O’Neil enough for giving me the chance to do this.

Some friends drifted out of my life, for various reasons, while I gained new friends, many from my weekend at Paracon, a paranormal convention held in October at the Shooting Star Casino in Mahnomen, Minn. Not only did I get to interact with royalty of the paranormal investigative world, but I made true connections with people who are passionate about paranormal investigation like I am. It was refreshing to have so many awesome people come into my life.

I started to do freelance writing, editing, photography, graphic design and social media content creation and management work. It’s a creative outlet I enjoy, and hope to do more in 2018.

Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, 2017 was a mixed bag. All the memories weren’t good ones. I continued to struggle with the deaths of my mom and brother, trying to put their absence into context. I spent much time reflecting on why my only brother would have taken his own life just a few days before his 40th birthday. We will never know the answer, and that will haunt me forever.

I continue to struggle with a couple other issues, which I am not going to get into here, that affect my daily life. It feels like they are constant, and there’s no solution for them, but I know I have to keep searching. I owe it to myself to do that. One way or another they have to get resolved.

I am not perfect. I have character flaws that need work. I often lack patience, I don’t feel obligated to interact with others and I have a low tolerance for disrespect. I plan to work on these in 2018, but at the same time, I am not going to change who I am or what I stand for or believe in.

For 2018, I want to be happier. I want to enjoy life more. I want to embrace the good times and avoid the bad when possible. I need to find my way.

Jim with bat

Proudly sporting my Odyssey Paranormal Society T-shirt and the bat of Grant Wilson, co-founder of Ghost Hunters.

In April 2017, I was given the opportunity to accompany the Odyssey Paranormal Society from the Twin Cities on a paranormal investigation of Edinburgh Manor just west of Dubuque, Iowa.

It was an amazing experience. Who would have known that six months later, I am now the lead investigator for the new Dubuque chapter of Odyssey Paranormal Society. I have been on multiple investigations, both with the Twin Cities team and the Dubuque team, and I can safely say this is something I truly enjoy. We have helped people feel more comfortable in their homes, investigated historic and notorious locations and learned a lot along the way.

Maybe I’ll even start a blog dedicated solely to what we capture during investigations.

In the meantime, to see some of our cases, and to learn about OPS, go to the OPS website here.

Until next time…

Jim Winter Edinburgh

I sit and listen to my surroundings during the investigation at Edinburgh Manor.

Death is inevitable. Everyone at some point will experience the death of others, and eventually, die themselves. Death is the unknown. No one knows what happens after we die.

Like anyone in their early 40s, I’ve experienced my share of death – all three of my grandparents, three dogs, a cat, and most recently, my mom in September 2015 and my only brother in June 2016. My mom didn’t make it out of heart surgery. Her death was unexpected and sudden. My brother, four days short of his 40th birthday, took his own life.

I’ve thought a lot about death and the paranormal lately. I’ve always watched the ghost hunting shows on television, like Ghost Adventures, Dead Files and Ghost Hunters, and was always fascinated by the evidence investigators caught. I believe spirits exist. I’ve seen a couple.

I have been a professional journalist for almost 20 years, and I like to think I exhibit two of the strongest traits of a journalist – logical thinking and an insatiable curiosity.

To satisfy my natural curiosity, in late April, I was given an opportunity to join the Odyssey Paranormal Society, based out of the Twin Cities, in a two-day investigation of one of the most well-known haunted locations in Iowa, Edinburgh Manor in rural Scott Grove, Iowa.

The property the hulking brick building sits on was at first Jones County’s poor farm, until it was demolished in 1910 to make way for Edinburgh Manor, which was in operation for almost 100 years. It is documented more than 80 people died on the property.

As I drove the 40 minutes to Monticello to first interview Michael O’Neil and Josie Brugman, the society’s founder and a member, respectively, leading the investigation, I reflected on my mom and brother, and what they were now, after death.

After the interview, we took off for Edinburgh. When the building first came into sight, any random thoughts were replaced with anticipation of what the weekend would bring. I was optimistic I would be able to experience something, but also realistic that it may not happen.

Within 10 minutes of being in the building, something happened. I was in the basement, where a spirit known as “The Joker” is reported to frequent. I had my Nikon D80 camera with a professional Nikon mounted flash on. All of a sudden, the flash’s display and circular arrow grid started flashing on and off. I have video of this phenomenon as it happened. In the many years I have owned that camera and flash, it had never happened, and it didn’t the rest of the weekend.

That was a great way to start the investigation, but it was only just beginning. Later in the first night, Michael led a group of VIP guests to a far wing of the second floor. It was pretty quiet, so Michael asked if there was anyone at the other end of the floor who wanted to speak with us. We both heard, plain as day, an “Ummmmmmmmmmm.” A disembodied voice. Audible. So awesome. My skin shivered.

Early the next afternoon, it happened again. I was downstairs the basement again, with Josie. We were nearing the end of the community room when we heard, from the left, someone say “Hello.” Plain as day. There was no one else on the floor and only one other person in the building.

Near the end of the second night at Edinburgh, another group of VIP guests who had formed their own team were in the billiard room. They had many types of their own equipment, including a flash light that has to be twisted to turn on and off. They had this flashlight sitting on the billiard table, and for 40 minutes, we witnessed the team members ask questions of a spirit, and have the flashlight turn on to answer questions in the affirmative, and then turn off on command of team members.

Both that night and the first night, I also heard voices come out of the spirit box, which allows spirits to manipulate rapidly scanned radio frequencies into words. Many of the words were intelligible answers to questions.

The Ovilus III device was my favorite piece of equipment to use during the investigation, It is like a modern-day Speak and Spell. It allows spirits to harness the energy around them to form words that come through the Ovilus. Much of the words that come out of the device have no meaning, and you have to be careful not to make something out of nothing, but there were quite a few times where what was being said made sense.

Early on with the device, we were getting words that related to farming, such as harvest, corn, cattle, planting, dirt, etc. We first dismissed those as being just random words, but later on the second day, we realized that we were focusing on the property’s second use, as an insane asylum, rather than its first use, as a poor farm. People who worked on the poor farm would have worked the land like a farm. Suddenly those words made sense. But that’s a stretch.

Other phrases weren’t. We received “Expect foe vapor,” “Malicious mist,” and “Seven enemy” when we asked how many people were in the room. There were seven of us. But perhaps the most compelling result for me was when fellow guest Kassie Simonis had the Ovilus shortly after I gave it to her, and it said “Digging Jim.” My name was the only one said aloud on a device all weekend. And when Kassie asked if the spirit wanted her to give the Ovilus back to me, it said, almost immediately, “Correct.”

The weekend at Edinburgh was one I will never forget. It solidified my belief in the paranormal, and made me a little more comfortable about the death of my mom and brother. It also stirred something inside me, a desire to do more paranormal investigations. I’m going on another one June 2-3, at the Farrar Schoolhouse near Des Moines, Iowa. My mind, and my spirit, look forward to it.